Eggs and Bunnies

Happy Easter!

Today is the day we non-churchgoers celebrate spring by searching for eggs supposedly hidden by the Easter Bunny. At least, that’s what all the lame people are doing. The rest of us have chosen to actually search for the Easter Bunny himself, because, as legend has it, if you can catch him laying one of his chocolate eggs, he has to grant you three wishes.

To use as Easter Bunny bait, my brother and roommate and I dyed our own Easter eggs this year.

 

I also made them Easter baskets, just in case they don’t catch the Easter Bunny and can’t have their wish for unlimited candy for life granted.

My brother’s basket will be delivered by yours truly in just a few hours (eggs full of fake worms and all). My roommate, on the other hand, is out of town right now and will have to work a little bit harder for his when he gets back. I’ll show you more of that later.

I Caught a Leprechaun!

This Saint Patrick's Day I kept my celerbation relatively mellow. The only little man I brough home was my brother:

And the only green beverage I consumed was Naked Juice, and no, that isn't frat house terminology.

I told my brother we were eating leprechaun food for dinner. He's still young enough to believe me. What we were actually eating was linguine cooked in green water, pesto, peas, "Green Machine" Naked Juice, and lemon-lime Jello.

My brother and I aren't big on the peas. Neither one of us cleared our plate of the offensive vegetables. My roommate, though, he went back for seconds. Go figure.

As for the Naked Juice, I've heard great things about it, and I figured there was no better time to drink something that looked like swamp water than at our leprechaun meal. Unfortunately, I was not as impressed as I wanted to be, but I was very impressed that my brother actually drank it. I thought it tasted more like banana than anything else, so maybe that was why he was willing to drink algae juice. (Yes, there really is algae in it, along with wheat grass and kiwis and a bunch of other "powerful" ingredients.)

Perhaps next year will be filled with green beer and shenanigans, but for now, I'm happy watching Ice Age and eating Jello with my little leprechaun.

Lush Caca Marron Henna Hair Dye Review and How-To

I have known about Lush's henna treatments for quite some time, but being the giant wimp that I am, I've never had the guts to try it before now. As a matter of fact, I've never had the guts to try any hair coloring treatment before. Perhaps starting off with practically-permanent henna was a bad idea, but I never said I was all that bright. Regardless of my intelligence quotient, here are my thoughts on my experience.

I started by trying a strand test about a week ago. I mixed up about half a square of Caca Marron with some boiling water and applied it to a relatively hidden chunk of hair. In order to mimic the actual effects as much as possible, I put a zipless sandwich bag around the chunk, secured it with a hair elastic, and let it sit for four hours before washing it out in the shower. The following morning there was no obvious change to the color, but over the next couple of days it did darken up a bit, so I decided to proceed.

 

For the actual event, I used a cheese grater to pulverize three chunks of the block plus the leftovers from the test chunk. I mixed it with about two cups of boiling water and let it cool while I finished my prep work. I covered my bathroom sink and floor with newspaper, slathered my hairline, ears, and neck with Vasaline (ew), and rounded up all the mini claw clips and hair elastics I could find.

Rather than follow the directions and recommendations to a T, I divied up my hair into tiny ponytails all over the place, pulled them up into a claw clip and only let down a few at a time. For each tiny ponytail, I removed the elastic, spread the henna on from root to tip with a brush I bought at Sally's, and then consolodated the multiple mini ponytails into mini claw clips. My roommate helped me with the back and when my head was fully slathered with henna goop, he wrapped me up in plastic wrap and I stuck an elastic headband (one of the wide fabric ones) around the whole thing. I may not have applied as thick a layer as you're supposed to, because I had at least 1/3 of the stuff left, but I did apply a relatively even layer and I don't think I missed anything substantial, just a spot above my ear.

 

Cleanup wasn't too terrible. I trashed the newspaper and ginormous grubby shirt I wore and rinsed out the bowl and other utensils with super-hot tap water. Didn't bother soaping because I'm incredibly lazy, didn't want to henna the kitchen sponge, and won't be using any of these items for anything other than henna in the future.

Then I waited. And waited. And waited. Actually, I only waited for four hours, which isn't so bad. Some people keep the henna on for six or eight hours, but since this was my first experience with henna and I wasn't looking for any crazily drastic results, I didn't bother torturing myself for more than four hours.

As for washing it out, that bit sucked. Kind of a lot. I rubbed and I rubbed and I rubbed and then there was still more grainy sandy crap in my hair. So I stuck my head under the faucet. Nope, still in there. I ended up using about half a bottle of 88-cent conditioner to rub it all out, then I shampooed and conditioned with my normal stuff and called it a day. Not as bad as it could have been, and nothing in the shower stained, but still not the most enjoyable part of the process.

Now, about the smell....Everybody complains about the smell, and no, it isn't great, but it also didn't seem quite as bad to me as it does for other people. I did my grating on the deck, cracked a window in the kitchen, and hoped for the best in the bathroom. All in all, yes, my house smells like henna, and yes, my hair smells like henna, and yes, I am getting sick of it, but once it's in your nasal passages, you kind of stop noticing it until you smell something else. The scent itself is similar to a coffee shop, but with a little less coffee and a little more herbal....something. And no pastries, which is sad, but for fantastic hair, I guess I can live with it.

Speaking of fantastic, yes, my hair did turn out fantastically. I LOVE it! The color is even, natural-looking, rich, and gorgeous. I was afraid my hair would turn maroon/purpley or straight up clown red, but I ended up with an awesome brown darker than my natural brown with a coppery red glow in the light. It's nothing too obvious or drastic, which makes me love it even more.

My recommendations for anyone considering using the Lush hennas are:
1. Don't go it alone! Get some help. Wrangle one of your friends into giving you a hand so that you have someone to help you with the tricky areas and keep you company while you're sitting at home with your incredibly fashionable cling wrap hairdo.
2. Get one of those hair dye brushes. You will regret it if you don't!
3. Don't do this in the summer. Just a guess, but my head was sweaty enough and I found the smell clinging to everything as it was without throwing extreme heat and humidity into the mix. If you are going to do this in a miserable southern summer, do yourself a favor and crank up the AC for the afternoon.
4. Have something to do. Don't sit around poking your head like I did. Plan to spend the day watching entire first season of Friends or knitting a pair of socks or something. Anything! Don't sit around bored or it will make your day drag like you wouldn't believe.
5. Do utilize the cheap conditioner trick. Your hot water will not last the three hours it will take you to rinse everything out otherwise.

Have you ever used henna? Do you think you ever would? Tell me all about your experiences in the comments!

Earworming

You know those songs that get stuck in your head? Sometimes they can be great. Sometimes they can be annoying. And sometimes they can be flat-out down-right completely frustrating. Want to know why? Of course you do. It's because you can't remember the rest of the song. You just keep singing that one bit that's totally awesome over and over and over and you can't for the life of you figure out how the hell the rest of the song is supposed to go. Don't ya just love it?

In hopes that this may expand your own personal repertoire of catchy song lines (from often mediocre songs) to sing in the shower, I am including below my personal Top 10 list of songs--in no particular order--that get stuck in my head. If you don't see your favorite on this list, no worries. The list is ever changing and I'll be sure to update you in the future.


10. "Take me home tonight. I don't want to let you go till you see the light. Take me home tonight. Listen honey, just like Ronnie sang: Be my little baby."
Eddie Money 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbhXmSBlS_U

9. "Can't touch this."
MC Hammer 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otCpCn0l4Wo

8. "I like big butts and I cannot lie"
Sir Mixalot 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kY84MRnxVzo

7. "And I feeeel like I just got home."
Madonna 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4tD8dy9Reg

6. "Now I gotta cut loose. Footloose. Kick off your Sunday shoes."
Kenny Loggins 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMekATnLPmM

5. "It's just a jump to left and then a step to the right with your hands on your hips and your knees in tight."
The Rocky Horror Picture Show 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rtkdo7bOmJc

4. "All the single ladies, all the single ladies, all the single ladies all the single ladies. Now put your hands up..."
Beyonce 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4m1EFMoRFvY

3. "I knew the bride when she used to rock and roll."
Nick Lowe 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kn1CXbf2xF8

2. "Feelin hot hot hot."
Buster Poindexter 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrhf_zgtmAg

 

And now, ladies and gentlemen, the NUMBER ONE stuck-in-your-head song line EVER: 

1. "Ooh eee ooh ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang ooh eee ooh ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang."
David Seville, just not in this version http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkMYyFZw_jE

You're Welcome!

(please don't hate me)

To redeem myself from that, consider this clip a bonus:

Jackson Brown "Stay"

New Years Resolutions (I'm only a little late...)

I just found this post squirreled away in my computer and realized I never posted it at the beginning of January like I had planned, so here you go. Better late than never, right?

I've never been big on new years resolutions, but I do like to keep hopes and goals in mind when starting a new year. These hopes and goals aren't necessarily within my control, but it's more about sitting down and thinking about where (or who) I'd like to be in another 365 days. It's about what I want to be able to say I did in 2013.

To show you what I mean, here are a few:

1. I want to learn to drink. 

My 21st birthday is in August, and I've decided not to drink until then (with the exception of the one LEGAL drink I had while in Canada), and once I can, I want to learn to do it well. I want to learn alcohols, I want to try new recipes, I want to find a favorite bar, and I want to have the best hangover remedy of all my friends.

2. I want to find a boyfriend.

I'm not one of those chicks that has no sense of self without a man in her life, but I'm ready for a relationship. I realize this one isn't completely in my control, but it's nice to think about.

3. I want to save more money.
I just started working full time six months ago (before that I doubled-up my part-time jobs and made squat), and I've been enjoying having spare money. While I still want to buy the extras that make me happy, I also want to start building my savings account. I'd love to set aside an extra 2,000 this year, but I'm probably going to need some car repairs before the end of the year, so I'll settle for anything over $1200.

4. I want to keep better tabs on my money.
Speaking of money, I want to keep better track of where I spend my money in 2013. I may have let my checkbook register slide onto a back burner at some point during the year, and I don't want to let that happen again. This year, I want to keep a record of where I spend all my money so that I can can get a better idea of where I'm wasting a little too much and adjust that so I can put more money in savings (see above).

5. I want to get out more.
I love my couch, and I love my roommate, but I've got to get out more. It sucks being the guy at the water cooler on Monday morning who says, "Yeah, I had a great weekend too. There was a Scrubs marathon on!" It's time to live a little while I have the opportunity. There will be plenty of chances to sit on my ass and be unproductive later.  

That's None of Your Business!

I'm in a pissy mood today, so allow me to share with you a conversation I have had multiple times in the last few months with complete strangers that has helped contribute to my pissiness.

Stranger: So, are you in school?
Me: No sir.
Stranger: You already finished?
Me: No sir.
Stranger: Why aren't you in school?
Me: Because I work full time. Would you like this stapled?
Stranger: That's no excuse. You should be more ambitious.
Me: I'll get there eventually. Will there be anything else for you today?
Stranger: When I was your age I was working full time, going to school, and had three kids to feed.
Me: Very good. Would you like a bag?
Stranger: You're not being very friendly. You know, I usually get the best service here.
Me: That will be $1.47. Thank you. Have a nice day.

I swear, this is only a slightly exaggerated example. I have seriously had people tell me I'm not driven enough because I find that working a full time job instead of going to school to be a reasonable decision at this point in my life. I'm considering using this particular response next time the conversation comes up:

Stranger: So, are you in school?
Me: No sir.
Stranger: You already finished?
Me: No sir.
Stranger: Why aren't you in school?
Me: Because I work full time doing shit for you that you should be fully capable doing yourself, what with your fancy college degree and all. And because you want me to do this for you whenever it's convenient for you, I'm not permitted by the company to have any alternative commitments or a personal life.
Stranger: That's no excuse. You should be more ambitious.
Me: You know what, that's a great idea. I'll just quit my full-time supervisory position here, live in a refrigerator box, and get my Masters in Rocket Science from Stanford.
Stranger: When I was your age I was working full time, going to school, and had three kids to feed.
Me: Man, sucks to be you. Me, I've chosen to utilize these fantastic little rubber things that let me have all the dirty recreational sex I want without getting knocked up.
Stranger: You're not being very friendly. You know, I usually get the best service here.
Me: If you don't like the service, don't come back. Have a nice day, asshole.

Please, please, please, if you find yourself on the stranger's end of this conversation, mind your own business. It's not your place to ask anyone in the service industry about their family, relationship status, religious beliefs, political preferences, or any other facet of their personal lives. Keep your opinions to yourself, be polite, get your shit and get out. Anything beyond that is overstepping your bounds and preventing the person you're harassing from doing their job.

(Sorry about the rant. Feel free to post your own long-winded stories of woe in the comments.)

Procrastination!

It's been a while since I've posted, so I thought it would be a good idea to check in.

First of all, allow me to explain my absence: I have committed to perfecting the art of procrastination. While I still have a long ways to go, I've developed a strong start. Below is my list of the top 10 things that have been aiding my procrastinating ability.

1. Getting a head start on my taxes is a great idea. I should take many frequent trips to the post office to check for my W2s.

2. Plants vs. Zombies is a very important part of my brain exercises, and if I'm not careful, my roommate will actually surpass me, and that wouldn't be good.

3. My cultural immersion started very late, therefore I should spend as much time as possible watching TV shows such as Home Improvement and Sex and the City to catch up.

4. Watching drunk people deep fry lasagna on Youtube is incredibly educational!

5. There's no better time than the present to experiment with a variety of napping schedules to see if any of them increase my quality of life.

6. I should reorganize my fridge, but I want to put some real thought into it first. Maybe I should look at pictures of other people's fridges on the internet. Maybe I should look at pictures of other people's kitchens on the internet. Oooh, what kind of faucet is that? Do they make that for a bathtub?

7. My brother's birthday is coming up, and I want to give him something he'll really like. This means putting lots of thought and Googling into the inner workings of the eight-year-old mind.

8. This is the perfect time to look for flannel sheets on clearance!

9. Who's that guy in that movie? You know, the one who was in that other movie? The taller one? Let's ask IMDB! Hey, wait, he was in that movie with HER? I thought she only did the other movies!

10. I should really update the doodles on my whiteboard, they've been there a really long time. I should draw something to commemorate the inauguration, but then again, I don't want my little brother to see such pornographic images.

So there you have it, folks, the top ten ways I have been improving my procrastinating ability! I hope you've been able to glean some ideas to use for your own procrastination improvement.