That's None of Your Business!

I'm in a pissy mood today, so allow me to share with you a conversation I have had multiple times in the last few months with complete strangers that has helped contribute to my pissiness.

Stranger: So, are you in school?
Me: No sir.
Stranger: You already finished?
Me: No sir.
Stranger: Why aren't you in school?
Me: Because I work full time. Would you like this stapled?
Stranger: That's no excuse. You should be more ambitious.
Me: I'll get there eventually. Will there be anything else for you today?
Stranger: When I was your age I was working full time, going to school, and had three kids to feed.
Me: Very good. Would you like a bag?
Stranger: You're not being very friendly. You know, I usually get the best service here.
Me: That will be $1.47. Thank you. Have a nice day.

I swear, this is only a slightly exaggerated example. I have seriously had people tell me I'm not driven enough because I find that working a full time job instead of going to school to be a reasonable decision at this point in my life. I'm considering using this particular response next time the conversation comes up:

Stranger: So, are you in school?
Me: No sir.
Stranger: You already finished?
Me: No sir.
Stranger: Why aren't you in school?
Me: Because I work full time doing shit for you that you should be fully capable doing yourself, what with your fancy college degree and all. And because you want me to do this for you whenever it's convenient for you, I'm not permitted by the company to have any alternative commitments or a personal life.
Stranger: That's no excuse. You should be more ambitious.
Me: You know what, that's a great idea. I'll just quit my full-time supervisory position here, live in a refrigerator box, and get my Masters in Rocket Science from Stanford.
Stranger: When I was your age I was working full time, going to school, and had three kids to feed.
Me: Man, sucks to be you. Me, I've chosen to utilize these fantastic little rubber things that let me have all the dirty recreational sex I want without getting knocked up.
Stranger: You're not being very friendly. You know, I usually get the best service here.
Me: If you don't like the service, don't come back. Have a nice day, asshole.

Please, please, please, if you find yourself on the stranger's end of this conversation, mind your own business. It's not your place to ask anyone in the service industry about their family, relationship status, religious beliefs, political preferences, or any other facet of their personal lives. Keep your opinions to yourself, be polite, get your shit and get out. Anything beyond that is overstepping your bounds and preventing the person you're harassing from doing their job.

(Sorry about the rant. Feel free to post your own long-winded stories of woe in the comments.)