Staples Does it Again!

I have discovered a revolutionary new material. A material so versatile and useful it may grow to change the very world as we know it.

In this scientific masterpiece many of our basic needs are met simultaneously.

     -   You can use it to beautify your space.
     -   You can use it to keep your home dirt and stain free.
     -   You can use it as a protective wrap for your favorite possessions.
     -   You can even eat it!

The best part? It's affordable and accessible! Prices start at just $38.49 and can be purchased online from www.staples.com. Yes, that's right, folks! It's the office supply retailer we felt so fondly about in My Rant About Staples.

I am proud to present to you, for the first time here on K.Liz Blogs, Staples 40# Butcher Paper.

Straight from the Staples website:
     -   Available in various sizes.
     -   Use as a sandwich/lunchmeat.
     -   Use as plant/floral.
     -   Use as a general wrap.
     -   Use as disposable table covers.
     -   FDA approved!

Once again, lady grammar slays another victim. The word-for-word excerpt from Staples actually reads "Staples Butcher Paper, 40#. Available in various sizes. Use as a sandwich/lunchmeat, plant/floral, general wrap or as disposable table covers. Near neutral ph. Low sulfur. FDA approved." I'm sure they meant to say "Use as an all-purpose wrap for sandwiches, florals, and more!" but alas, they didn't. They chose to sell lunchmeat made from paper pulp.

If any of you happen to order this butcher paper and call the Staples hotline to complain about the poor texture of your latest sandwich topping, please, please, please tell me all about it. You can be my new best friend. Maybe I'll even buy you a sandwich made from 100% dead animal lunchmeat. You know, just to make up for the misleading information.