My Two Cents on Tipping

Some people say you're supposed to tip the kid who puts your orange juice and Wheat Thins in a plastic bag at the grocery store.

People like me disagree.

I'm probably going to piss people off with this post, but I don't care. These are MY two cents and if you don't appreciate them, leave them alone.

 

 

 

 

You should tip the pizza delivery guy.

Why? Because he was nice enough to drag his ass all the way from the nice warm pizza place into his car (that he just filled with gas for the eighth time this week) to drive through a blizzard to bring you an anchovyjalepenosausage pie that will proceed to stink up his car for a week (also known as fifteen fillups later). He delivered this pizza directly to your door, smiled, told you to enjoy your evening, and did not in any way mock you for wearing your M&M pajama pants at 6:30pm. That kid is also getting paid total crap from the pizza place and deserves a couple of bucks to buy himself some new tuneage to listen to next time he's shlepping a pizza to your house. (See http://tipthepizzaguy.com/ for more information.)

You should tip your waiter.

Why? Because when you sat down for a meal in a restaurant, you were paying for a) the building; b) the dishes; c) the hostess who so kindly didn't let the dude who came in 20 minutes after you get a table first; d) the chef who made your salad; e) the other chef who baked your bread; f) the other chef who prepared your main dish; and last but not least g) the bus boy who cleaned up after you. Your waiter was sweet, friendly, attentive, got you a new fork the second you dropped yours, acted as a liaison between you and the guy in the kitchen who only speaks Bengali, and had the courtesy not to spit in your food. He should be given an extra 20% for giving you individual attention and making your evening enjoyable.

You should not have to tip your hairstylist.

Why? Because you have already paid this person $100 and they were the only person to provide you service, I personally find it overkill to feel obligated to shell out an additional $20 for the same service. Now, if the sticker price on the haircut was $120 I wouldn't be bothered. I'd even be okay with paying $120 and then slipping my stylist an extra bill because she was absolutely amazing (and/or I was a total pain in the ass and she was polite enough to put up with me). My problem is getting dirty looks and botched bangs during my next visit if I didn't tack on the 20%+ tip. Add on tips for the shampoo girls and the salon assistants and the lady in the chair next to you who brought her shihtzu along and you've doubled the cost of your new 'do.

You should tip your hotel housekeeper.

Why? Because she had to pick up your soggy washcloths, vacuum around your stinky socks, and make your bed for you. These are all tasks YOU don't want to do, so someone else doing them willingly, silently, and well is unheard of. That brave soul deserves at the very least a few dollars and a great big THANK YOU if not a steak dinner and a pony.

You should not have to tip when picking up takeout.

Why? Because no one provided especially personal service to you. Rather than arranging your food on a plate with correct garnish and whathaveyou, it got dumped in a styrofoam container, shoved in a bag, and plopped down on the counter in front of you. If you feel that someone went out of their way to provide you special service, then absolutely, tip them, but if not, spend the extra dough on dessert instead.

You should not have to tip your janitor.

Why? Because taking out the trash and washing the windows at your office building are his job. Chances are you've never met the guy. If you have, you've both done the obligatory nod accompanied with "Hihowareyou" and then you're on your way. If you happen to be one of the rare few who have an actual relationship with the janitor, snag him next time you're sharing a birthday cake in the office and slip a little something extra in his Christmas card, but don't feel obligated to track him down and hand him a fiver just because he chucked your phone doodles in the recycling bin out back.

What are your thoughts on tipping? Who do you tip? Who do you not tip? Have you ever been tipped? Tell me in the comments!