My Rant About Staples

I apologize for appearing to have fallen off the deep end over an envelope, but I've been rather peeved for two weeks now and I feel I need to share my peevedness with cyberspace.

On October 2nd I ordered some online-exclusive black invitation envelopes from Staples. Ordinarily I would suck it up and pay for shipping, but I was very excited to see that Staples offered an in-store pickup option for no charge. I opted for this, and checked the order info online every few days. Every few days the page was the same. Estimated date of arrival was 10/12/12, and it was "Shipped From Warehouse: no box status available." I just checked and my order status is still "Shipped From Warehouse: no box status available."

On the 18th, I finally got a call from Staples telling me my order was in. By this time, I'd already hand folded (ow...ow...ow) all my own envelopes and had no need for the ones I had ordered, so I didn't rush over to get them. I waited until yesterday to pick them up, as a matter of fact. When I got to the store, I patiently waited in line at the checkout counter (which said "Customer Service" on a big sign above the cashier's head) with my online printout and ID, which the confirmation notice told me I was required to present to pick up my product. When I got up to the register and explained to the cashier that I had ordered some envelopes and was here to pick them up but was hoping it would also be possible to return them as well since I didn't need the anymore, the cashier looked at my printout, told me he didn't think I'd actually paid, but I'd have to go over to the customer service area. I got all confused (cuz, yaknow, HE was supposed to be customer service) and could only figure he was sending me to the copy center. I went over to the copy center and gave them the same shpeil about wanting to pick up and return the product. They said they had to call their manager. The manager came over. I gave him the shpeil. He called another associate over and told her to take care of it. I then had to give HER the shpeil. She was very nice, retrieved my box from behind the counter, then took me back over to the register to process the return. Of course, processing such a return required us to wait for the manger to come back over and key in his ID.

Here's the kicker: they had me sign the paperwork they had with my order. According to this paperwork, the estimated delivery date was 10/5. The form said the customer was to be contacted three days after it was delivered on 10/8. I was contacted on 10/18.

WTF? Does that not seem a wee bit tardy to anyone else?

Regardless, I was able to finish up my transaction and left envelopeless with the $7.50 back in my bank account, thanks to the one associate worth her salt.

This leads me to my question: What's your worst shopping story? How has corporate America abused you lately? Do tell! (Misery loves company, after all.)

Halloween Costume Roundup: DIY

The final segment of our Halloween Costume roundup is the do-it-yourself portion. Now that we're inching closer and closer to Halloween (only fourteen days away, people!), time is running short to find that perfect costume, especially if you were planning to order it online.

If you're in a pinch and headed to a party in the next couple of weeks, try one of these:

1. Gangster

You probably already have a black suit, so all you need now is a fedora and a potato gun. Alternatively, you could bring it into the 21st century and go as a secret service agent, just add a Bluetooth earpiece and you're good to go!


2. Insect 

 

Dress in one color, be it your favorite red dress (ladybug), your green sweatsuit (grasshopper), or tin foil (computer bug...ha ha), and throw on a pair of antennae. I love the pair shown above from TheElfinForest on Etsy, but if you're looking for a low-tech, low-budget option, pipecleaners work too.


3. Toga

 

Sometimes you gotta do what you can do with what you've got. When all you've got is five minutes, strip your bed and go as a Greek. The only accessories needed to complete this outfit are your grungiest flip flops and maybe a belt, if you're really feeling extravagant.


4. Ghost

 

It's not cliche, it's classic. And it's a great option when your toga-wrapping skills are lacking. Low effort, comfortable, and highly recognizable (no "who are you? Johnny Depp? No....the weather guy from channel 8? No....my Uncle Louie?), the only drawback is that you can't really eat without blowing your cover completely, but that's okay. You can hang with the scantily-clad ladies eating celery sticks so they don't gain an ounce and look fat in their costumes.

5. Risky Business

My favorite idea on the list. Very, very easy, you just need the confidence to pull it off. The confidence and a button down, some sweat socks, and a pair of tighty whities, but really, the only difficult part is the confidence. (You are, after all, in your tighty whities.) Consider swiping one of grandma's candlesticks for the evening, just to show you were really paying attention.


Well, that's it, folks! This is the end of our Halloween Costume Roundup. What's your favorite DIY costume?

Halloween Costume Roundup: Men

Here it is, folks: the second part of our Halloween Costume Roundup, dude-style.

1. Knight

 

Every girl is looking for her knight in shining armor, and with this tin gent at your All Hallows celebration, they can all be one step closer.

http://www.spirithalloween.com/product/knight-in-shining-armor-adult-costume/

2. The Headless Horseman

Horse or no, going headless for the evening is certainly sure to turn some.....eherm....heads.
http://www.spirithalloween.com/product/cc-headless-horseman-adult-med/


3. Taco

Why dress up as a taco? Why the hell not?
http://www.spirithalloween.com/product/taco-adult-costume/


4. Pot

Quite possibly my favorite costume on the list, and definitely the one my particular group of friends would get the biggest kick out of....although they might not agree with the plant's message of "keeping off" the grass!
http://www.spirithalloween.com/product/Fn-Keep-Off-Grass-Weed-Pot-Os/


5. Good in the Sack

I'll admit, it took me a minute to get this one. While this may not be the best execution of a pun costume, it is one likely to be embraced by the (hopefully single) men in your life.
http://www.spirithalloween.com/product/good-in-the-sack-costume/


What's the best costume you've seen a guy rock? Any suggestions on talking them into costume in the first place?

Halloween Costume Roundup: Women

I love Halloween, and even though I've had my costume picked out for months, I've decided to share a few of my favorite costumes with you.


1.   Honeybee

This honeybee costume is adorable! Sweet, with just enough sass to keep it from being too cutesy.
http://www.spirithalloween.com/product/ht-honey-bee-28/


 2. Scarecrow

This is, without a doubt, the least frumpy scarecrow costume I've ever seen. WAAAAAY better than shlupping around in an old flannel and some blue jeans on Halloween.
http://www.spirithalloween.com/product/es-whimsical-scarecrow-med/


3. Cowgirl

 

If we're discussing space cowboys, this costume is definitely from the dark side. A dark, mysterious alternative to the ever-so-cheerful Jessie-from-Toy-Story costume that seems to be popping up everywhere this Halloween.
http://www.spirithalloween.com/product/cc-round-em-up-cowgirl-adlt-md/


4. Fairy

I have a thing for fairies. Especially badass fairies, which is what little miss thang up there appears to be. I love the tattered skirt and the hypnotic devil horn headpiece.
http://www.spirithalloween.com/product/pn-amy-brown-i-like-to-bite-12/


5. Witch

Sure, everybody's been a witch, but not everybody has been a witch like this. Undoubtedly my favorite witch costume ever, hands down. Fun, funky, and oozing poison-green sex appeal, this is a costume that will be staying on my wishlist for a little while. 
http://www.spirithalloween.com/product/cc-hocus-pocus-witch-adult-md/ 


Keep your eyes peeled for more costume ideas from me in the future, but in the meantime, feel free to post your favorite costumes in the comments!

DIY Halloween Coasters

I have spent the better part of my weekend so far with my coffee table buried under felt.

Why, you ask?

Because it finally occurred to me that I had no coasters.

Don't ask me why I had no coasters. It's a sad tale, involving many drinks placed atop junk mail, but alas, not a very interesting one. To spare you the boredom, I will cut to the chase and show you what I have done to rectify this sad, sad situation.

I have made coasters!

Yes, that's right, ladies and gentlemen! I have made coasters! Wonderfully festive Halloween coasters, if I do say so myself.

I must admit, I was completely inspired by (read: stole) the idea for citrus coasters I stumbled across here: http://www.purlbee.com/citrus-coasters/

If I make these for other occasions in the future, I will take the advice of the Purl Bee tutorial and double-up the back circle of felt, but for these coasters that will, for the most part, only see one evening of use, I'm not terribly concerned about it.
 

Anybody who has spent any time in a craft store will undoubtedly be able to recreate these without any instruction from me, but in case you're curious, this is what I used:
-     Black and orange felt
-     Black and orange embroidery floss (split in half to make 3-ply strands)
-     The mouths of two separate cups to trace out circles
-     A black pen and a black Sharpie for tracing
-     Scissors
-     The sharpest yarn needle I had on hand, seeing as how it never occured to me to      purchase, yaknow, REAL needles.

I covered up the mouth of the mug I was using for tracing with plastic wrap to protect it from the Sharpie ink I used on the black felt. Surprisingly, Sharpie was the only thing in my entire house that made a visible mark on the black felt, including the white marking pencil I bought specifically for that purpose.

If you have more coaster ideas for me, post them below! Also, can anyone tell me what you're SUPPOSED to use to write on black felt? I think I might still be high from the Sharpie fumes...

Happy October!

Happy October!

Yes, I know I'm a day late, but October snuck up on me. Where has the year gone?

I thought it would be fun to kick off fall with a few of my autumn favorites. (and yes, I do know that the autumnal equinox came and went a week ago, but here in my neck of the woods, September is still summer, so this counts)

1. Apples!
 I was lucky enough to grow up near an orchard (and a cow pasture, and another orchard, and a strawberry patch, and some more cows), but that stroke of luck has its downside. I am now an apple snob. I'm still in the early stages of being an apple snob, of course, but I'm an apple snob nonetheless. Those puny red and green rocks they sell at the grocery store? Those aren't apples! A real apple is, like, THIS BIG. It should smell good. It should be juicy. It should also be picked on time and preferably not of the Red Delicious variety. Right now there are three different kinds of apples sitting in my kitchen, each with its own purpose, and I'm sure you'll be seeing much more of my appleing as the season goes on.

2. Baking!
As soon as it started to get chilly outside, I got the urge to bake. Pies, cookies, breads, I don't really care; I just want to smell yumminess wafting from my oven for a good hour or so. At least one (probably two) of the aforementioned apples in my kitchen will be going into a pie sometime very soon.

3. Sweaters!
Sweaters, to me, are the comfort food of the clothing world. When I've had a rough day and want to hunker down for the night, I put on a sweater. When I want to be a crazy person and run all over creation in a single day, I put on a sweater. When I want to look like a million bucks without looking like I'd CHARGE you a million bucks, I put on a sweater. In fact, I have withdrawals in the early weeks of summer because I miss the sweaters I boxed up and hid in the back of my closet. Nothing makes me happier than pulling those boxes back out in the fall and welcoming some cozy back into my wardrobe.

4. Leaves!
The fall foliage season here is short, but I get excited when the trees I pass on my way to work turn bright yellow, and when I find leaves stuck in my windshield wipers, and when I crunch walking through the yard, and...

5. Halloween!
Halloween should have a favorites list of its very own, but for now, it's going to camp out here on this one. The pumpkins, candy, costumes, and abounding cheesiness is irresistible. When else do you have the opportunity to  smash a green, warty witch into your mailbox without the neighbors saying a word? I'll tell you when: the same day you can put a skeleton wearing a top hat on your roof!

I hope you are all enjoying your fall so far. Feel free to leave your own fall favorites in the comments below!